“When we’re stuck in a rut we’re being encouraged to grow and expand.” — Dana Arcuri
Dave is the type of man that everyone liked. He was always in between jobs and was always broke, but all his family and friends could only say good things about him.
His girlfriend, Kate, believes he is the sweetest guy on the planet. {But she grew increasingly exasperated with him over the years.
She loved Dave because of his personality, but he always had difficulty taking responsibility for his own life. Because of this, Kate felt stuck in a situation where she constantly has to bail Dave out of trouble.
Things came to a head when Dave got into an accident. His car went into a ditch. But luckily, he only suffered a few broken ribs and his leg was in a cast for 5 weeks.
The bad news was that it was really Kate’s car, and Dave borrowed it so that he could have a night out with his pals.
Obviously, Kate was really upset.
Nevertheless, it was not because of the car, but the simple fact that Dave’s irresponsibility nearly got him killed.
She took care of Dave for the next several weeks, but she’d already made a decision to break up with him by then.
So after Dave recovered from his injury, he had to take a long, good look at himself and the choices that he made.
This was when he realized that something needed to change. It dawned on him that he was always going to be where he was if he did not do something about it.
How To Break Free From A Less-Than-Ideal Life
Like Dave , a lot of men and women lose their direction in life and feel trapped.
You could have a fuzzy idea of the individual who you need to be – or the sort of life that you would like…
. . .but you do not actually understand how to make that happen.
This is really where feelings of dissatisfaction come from.
But the good thing is that you can, in actuality, get out of the rut you are stuck in – even if you are feeling complete opposite.
Should you feel like you can not proceed in life, Odds Are it’s something to do with the 3 following reasons:
Reason #1. You Do not Know What You Want
Most individuals don’t realize that they are so much closer to their ideal future if only they invested real time thinking about what that future really means.
They simply have a vague, nebulous notion of the things that they want. Without a clear idea about what to expect, those plans and goals will probably be just as half-baked.
And thus, you need to have a well-defined idea of exactly what your”Point B” is – a.k.a. Where you would like to be…
. . .then work your way back to”Point A”, that is where you are now.
That usually means you’ve got to have a well-defined”Point B” before you can begin plotting your path towards that destination.
To help you with that, here are some questions which you can ask yourself:
What values do I get up every day for? Is it seeking truth, pleasure in helping in helping others , creating things for which i will be remembered in the world, adding value to people lives around me, etc.?
In what manner do I express those values in my personal life, and in my job?
What kind of issues do I need to solve, and how can this honor my values?
What would a normal day in my perfect future look like? Who am I with, and what kind of problems am I solving, and also how do I add value to the world?
It is very much worth your time sitting down and answering these questions. Try to be as detailed as possible and describe any emotional details too.
The clearer you are able to paint this picture, the greater feeling of PURPOSE you will have in your life!
And this is the best antidote to feeling”stuck.”
Reason #2. You Don’t Understand How to Get It
A great deal of people have a tendency to just accept their situation and become used to feeling trapped.
This is often because they’ve been so beaten down that they felt just like there is nothing to do but give up.
They get desperate and believe that there is really nothing else for them to do. It is like they’re in an infinite tunnel with no light to look forward to.
What they do not understand is that they lack a good strategy to escape the rut they are in. That is why they never achieve the escape velocity to overcome the gravity of the situation.
Worse, they are scared to think of a plan in the first place. Treading water and staying afloat is a whole lot less frightening than attempting to move forward and fail.
However, in the long run,”protecting” yourself from failure has far worse consequences than having a strategy to get un-stuck.
Here’s a Fantastic way to get the ball rolling:
Get your plan set up: after you have spent some time figuring out what you would like to do (i.e., your Point B), the next step is to translate that need into an actionable strategy. From here you can come up with smaller goals leading up to your Point B.
Utilize the SMART strategy: any goals that you make should be Specific (well-defined), Measurable (it can be measured in some manner ), Attainable (it is actually feasible to make accomplish those goals), Relevant (it is connected to your values and sense of purpose) and also Time-based (there is enough time to execute your plans and there is a definite deadline )
Create checkpoints: any plan should operate on a schedule, which means setting up goalposts on your way to your Point B. That means you’re able to break down that large goal into smaller goals, which can each be represented by a certain checkpoint. That way, you will have a sense of progress as you reach each checkpoint.
Get a planner: the act of writing down your goals on a planner is likely to make your plans feel more concrete and achievable. It will also provide you a much better sense of urgency as you will have to schedule your goals on a weekly and monthly basis.
Reason #3. You Are Getting in Your Way
This is a bird’s eye view of this”getting what you want” process, but this is a fantastic way to overcome your inertia and keep moving forward.
Here is another thing – you are likely to encounter a lot of obstacles when trying to get from Point A to Point B.
{However, you probably know this already. If you’re feeling stuck somehow, that is a clear sign you are having difficulty overcoming those obstacles.
And the biggest reason people can not move ahead is that they avoid asking the difficult questions.
As uncomfortable as it is to grapple with those questions…
. . .this is the best method to eliminate those barriers getting in your way of a better life.
So, make a list of those habits that honor your ultimate goals and the ones that don’t. With just a little humility and self-awareness, you are going to find out which habits you want to nurture – and which ones to starve.
Nevertheless, it is worth asking yourself the following:
“Which of my habits are not serving my true purpose?” – The things you often do are either helping you get what you want to get in life or are not helping you and are slowing you down.
“What thought patterns are making it harder for me to triumph?” – Over daily habits, it’s also worth thinking about the kind of mindset you’ve got when taking on life’s challenges.
For example, would you give up easily when you hit a wall – or would you pivot and try a different strategy?
Do you manage frustration or do you blow every setback out of proportion? Do you waste time whining, or do you get taking action?
Answering these can provide you great indicators whether or not your mindset could use some tweaking.
This particular area is a enormous sticking point that most people do not bother to tackle.
They may know what they need and have a overall plan in place. But if their own mindset is working against them, it is most likely to be a really tough uphill struggle.
The Way to Bounce Back And Rise Above Life’s Challenges
In terms of Dave, he wished to bounce back from his situation. Therefore, went through the process of figuring out exactly what he wanted.
He was really a great musician and played guitar in a band, but he would let that part of his life slip. For the longest time, Dave wanted to return into it by instructing young children to play music.
But he would always find some way to talk himself out of it. He persuaded himself it was too challenging and it was safer to just work the odd part-time job here and there to cover the rent.
Eventually , he realized he needed a significant mindset upgrade. It was the only way he could push through with his plans.
So as he put in the work to make his plans happen, Dave also tried something else.
He began looking inward and eliminated the unhealthy beliefs and negative thought patterns which were holding him back. After he figured out how to reprogram his mindset, everything started to fall into place for Dave.
And it was easier than he anticipated. Soon enough, he even managed to escape his rut and reinvent himself.
